Damn!

I now have "runners knee" which is when the muscles/tendons (you name it) ache and send lots of pain shooting throughout your nerves pretty much anytime you move. Great! I was doing really well with getting back into running. I had started off with a light jog to get my body back into it and now this. It sucks. Not to mention I was really hoping to not have to go buy a new set of clothes to go back to work in. I'm trying to remember that I have a son and I knew that the weight wouldn't just melt off, but I'm trying so hard only to face this set back. I'm already suffering a blow to the ego because every time I look in the mirror I see the "mama tire" belly. What a week this has been, and it's only Monday...

My Plea!

To The Great Omnipotent Power: Fix J's back so that he is no longer in pain/hunched over. He deserves better than this. Please.

Along for the Ride (The Waiting, Part 3)

I'm sitting here organizing coupons/baby stuff while Baby H enjoys his swing. It's moments like this that I don't feel so bad about buying another baby item. We're trying to not get every little thing out there, but the swing is a life saver. All Hail the Cradle Swing! LOL. Anyway, as I was sitting here I heard "The Waiting" by Tom Petty playing on the radio. I was reminded of a previous post where I referenced his song. So much has changed over the past month and a half. Some of it good, some not so much. I could've done with the first 2 weeks being easier. I suppose all first time parents would agree. Waiting for Baby H to be born was challenging, but the first 2 weeks with him here take the cake. Things are getting better. It's a slow process, but I'll take what I can get. Again, the waiting is the hardest part. :) Funny how that fits so many things in life. We had to wait to get pregnant (thank you, Body, for having your own agenda and making me crazy with not knowing what the hell was going on - NOT!),the pregnancy is a 40 week waiting game (40+1 - thank you Baby H for not being in any hurry to be born, LOL) and now waiting and watching him grow. We're just along for the ride...and what a crazy one it's sure to be.

Random Musings on a Tuesday Afternoon

When Baby H gets worked up, his fists ball up - I call them fists of fury. When he's playful (and grumpy), he kicks out his legs - frog legs. So, He's full of fists of fury and frog legs. That just makes me laugh. I wish we could get a picture of it. Maybe someday. I must also express my dear appreciation for the cradle swing that we just got. Baby loves to be rocked and this does the trick. Plus, it goes great right next to the treadmill so I can jog and still keep an eye on him. It's beautiful. The only drawback is that I have to turn it off and wake him up. It's time for him to eat and I don't want him to sleep all day since we're slowly getting into some kind of day/night schedule. Ahhh, he's so cute and relaxed. I hate having to be the mean mom and wake him. There'll be hell to pay, though, if he goes much longer without a diaper change and food. LOL!

So a lot has happened. Well, to me anyway. Baby H is getting better with his sleep schedule. It's not great, but better. I'm knocking on wood that he keeps it up and that he'll sleep for longer stretches of time. :) I'm still overwhelmed. Not as much as before. The past 2 weeks have helped us get into a semi-groove. I'm now starting to feel time going by too fast since I have to go back to work in just over two weeks. I don't mind working, just wish I could've gotten more time off. When I start to dwell on it I wish we lived in Canada. I've read that they are required to have the first year off. I haven't done that much research on it, so I don't know how true it is, but if so - damn that would be nice. I can't think/write about that anymore. That just adds to the overwhelming feeling. Of course, there is also the breastfeeding/formula dilema. For whatever reason, Baby H spits up an insane amount after he has breastmilk. Even with regular milk based formula he spits up. We've got him on Enfamil ProSobee (a soy based formula) and he still spits up, but it's more like drool. I admit that I'm disappointed. I really want to give him the breastmilk, but with all of the spit up - well, I just don't know what to do. For now, I'm pumping it and freezing it. It lasts for quite a while in a deep freezer, so I'm hoping to be able to give it to him eventually. Still, disappointed. What makes me chuckle right now is that instead of grabbing my nice purse when we go out, I now grab a diaper bag and stuff my wallet in one of the already full pockets. I'm sure they make really stylish diaper bags, but from what I've seen you either get practical and decent looking or you get not practical at all and stylish. Speaking of going out, it's pretty nice so we're going for a walk. I totally need it. I dared to try on a suit today (to get ready to go back to work) and was defeated when I saw the size. I didn't balloon up with weight gain during the pregnancy and have lost 35 pounds already, but it's just hanging out around my hips and "mama belly". It's been a struggle to not eat total crap all day out of depression. We'll see how the next 1 1/2 week goes. Maybe there's hope yet.

AHHHH

There is nothing that will prepare you for sleep deprivation, nor the shell of a woman you'll become because of it! Baby is great, but his schedule is all over the place and I'm still trying to figure it out. That's where we're having our bump. I don't think I've checked my email less or spent less time on the pc than this week with him. I feel out of the loop! The thing that frightens me is how to make this lack of sleep/relatively normal schedule work when I go back to work. It seems impossible that Baby will settle into some routine or that I'll get anything more than 30 minutes of restless sleep. Everyone says it will work out. That the first 2 weeks are the hardest. I certainly hope so.

Baby H is Here!

He arrived last Tuesday (4/25/06) at 3:09 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. Dad is great, Baby is great, Mom is really freaking tired! More details to come.