A Bull in a China Shop

trail of cheerios

2007-04-06T18:40:00.000-06:00

I've been playing around with different ideas about changing this blog. I couldn't really pinpoint what I wanted to do, just something.
After changing colors, templates, layouts, etc, I decided I wanted to "start over".
I no longer feel bullish and, while I'm still coming into my own, I don't feel clumsy as I figure this whole parenting thing out.
Those feelings determined that what I wanted to change was the blog's name.

It's not a bad thing, just a simple change.
I'll still be around, just over here:
trail of cheerios

Little Man Walking

2007-04-03T19:07:00.001-06:00

He's getting much better after only a week!

When You've Got It Really, Really Good...

2007-03-30T14:34:00.000-06:00

....SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Part-time Co-worker A has a schedule:
9-3 Monday-Thursday
9-2 Friday
**Starting in June, she will only work Monday-Thursday

Her working provides her with spending money. Her husband has a nice job that pays extremely well. She doesn't have to work at all if she doesn't want to and she will call off a day because (fill-in-the-reason). My Boss, B, has bent over backwards to accomodate her. It's never good enough.

So why am I so irritated?
Because A has the audacity to complain about her schedule. It's too much. She doesn't need to work, it's just for spending money, blah blah fuckity blah blah...

The above schedule allows her to take her kids to school and pick them up. It allows her time to run errands before businesses close. She also has the luxury of time to clean, catch up on laundry or just sit on her deck in the sun and sip lemonade.

Her "it's not good enough" attitude is a slap in the face to parents who HAVE to work because there's no other way to make it financially.
I'm not turning this into a Stay-at-home-mom versus Work-outside-of-home-mom thing. god knows there's enough of that in the world already.
I'm pissed off because I'd kill for her schedule! I'd love to be able to have more time to take care of household chores, run errands and spend more time with K.
Not to mention having any money I make be my PERSONAL SPENDING MONEY!

I do not like A. I used to get a long with her pretty well but now I want nothing to do with her. I can only hope she starts having attendence "issues" again and will be replaced.

Music, Music, Where Is My Music (aka-Meme)

2007-03-27T15:17:00.000-06:00

Bon at crib chronicles tagged me for a music meme.
I've been going back and forth trying to remember what was in the lastest download and I honestly couldn't remember!
So I have to tweak this meme just a tad and go off of what seven songs I ~~would~~ will download:

1. Nobody Told Me - John Lennon
2. Couldn't Get It Right - Climax Blues Band
3. Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
4.Sunny Afternoon - The Kinks
5.Stuck In The Middle With You - Steelers Wheel
6.Angel Mine - Cowboy Junkies
7.Cowboy Song - Thin Lizzy

My choices are all over the place - some 70's, some pretty current. Let's hope I can keep such an open mind as K starts to get into music.
(although god help me if he starts jamming to Top 40 bubblegum pop!)

Real Moms Addendum

2007-03-27T07:36:00.000-06:00

Real moms have either a camera or video camera attached to their hip as they try to catch all the milestone moments on film.

Little Man has been taking a few steps on his own over the past few days. However, they are so quick that I've yet to get a picture.
I can hardly believe that he's getting to this point. This time last year he was still squirming around in my huge belly.

I Do All My Own Stunts

2007-03-26T11:50:00.000-06:00

We had a good weekend. K and I got to play a lot.
Saturday it rained most of the day so we were stuck inside. We played on top of pillows and blankets, walked with the buggy, pushed the train around, chased the cats.
It was a good day.
Sunday we went to the park and tried out the slide (not to sure on those, yet) and played in the swings.
This morning K took off and crawled from one side of the bed (where we had been getting him dressed) to the other side lightening fast and

"Oh shit..."
(as I do a belly flop on top of the bed to try and catch his leg/ankle/pinky toe)

went right over the edge and landed on top of his head AGAIN!

K had the biggest alligator tears you've ever seen and cried for less than a minute.
He then spotted J finishing up ironing his shirt and started to giggle.

This kid of mine, I tell you...

Co(ck)-workers Suck!

2007-03-22T14:08:00.000-06:00

I despise a three people where I work.
One puts on a "holier-than-thou" act even though he's been cheating on his wife for at least 4 years. Everyone here knows it.
One plays this "country bumkin" act so that he can get away with doing stuff his way and pretending stupid when someone calls him out for it not being anywhere close to how the company really does it.
One misses work a lot. At least 1-2 days every other week. It's usually because she ate something "funny". She calls at 4 am and leaves a message for my boss. 4 AM! This chica works part-time and doesn't have to be here until 9 AM. She only calls so early so that she doesn't have to talk to my/her boss.

I'm so riled up about it. I'm trying to calm down, but when you have to do 2-3 times as much work because people are fucktards, well it isn't easy.

Real Moms Meme

2007-03-18T07:47:00.000-06:00

I ~~took over~~ waited my turn to use the PC this morning and what should I find?
Mrs. Chicken tagging me for a meme, yipee!

There are things I couldn't have imagined it before having K: cleaning up sick, not flinching at a dirty diaper (although there have been a few close calls) as well as the laundry that never seems to be finished even though I do 2 loads a day. Like Mrs. Chicken, there are some things that make it all worth it.

My Real Moms meme is based on being there for the icky-ness and not batting an eye.

Real Moms still cuddle up to their little one after being puked on and cleaning up "the runs" for 3 days.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that Kristen started this! She has a page devoted to other Real Moms that is awesome. Check it out.
I'm also tagging
cakerwakers,
crib chronicles,
dooneybug days,
zany mothering,
poopy digs

I Know (Almost) of What You Speak

2007-03-16T09:49:00.000-06:00

This morning after K ate his oatmeal I was trying to wipe off his face.
He kept squirming and moving his face away, “saying”:
"mamamamama, nananana" like "mama, no no no! "
Could I be developing the parents ear and be able to understand toddler speak??? HA! Maybe.

Walking With Help

2007-03-15T19:49:00.001-06:00

Hmmm, Milk

2007-03-14T14:00:00.000-06:00

5, count 'em, FIVE more weeks until we can give K the good stuff.

This also means

from not having to buy formula anymore!

Fish

2007-03-14T13:47:00.000-06:00

K,
Meet Fish

Oh, I mean fish

Weekend Firsts

2007-03-12T20:05:00.000-06:00

Before Haircut

After Haircut

Big Boy Shoes

Big Boy Outfit

Eating Cake

For What It's Worth

2007-03-09T10:26:00.000-06:00

1. Buying infant/toddler shoes is not that easy. They recommend soft soled shoes as they learn to walk, however those damn things won't protect his feet when he's playing outside this summer.

2. Trying on the before-mentioned shoes is like attempting to put an orange into a toaster.

3. I'm a cheap ass. I don't want to pay $30 or more on a pair of shoes K will outgrow faster than mold can grow in an abandoned shower. I want my money's worth, damnit!

4. Fiber in one's diet is great. I do my best to meet the minimum every day. Tripling the number of fiber grams in one day is NOT advised.

5. When you know the weekend is going to involve a get together with pizza and cake, you might as well start the binging a day early.

The Man I Married (& the Father of My Son)

2007-03-08T09:50:00.000-06:00

"Why don't we just low-jack him?"
This is the answer from J when I showed him the new child ID I made for K.
What?

"Yeah, then we could find him anywhere."
Hmmm...

"Then we could shock him if he starts to act up!"

Isn't technology great!
snarky, snark, snark

Ode to a Full Buddha Belly

2007-03-06T19:14:00.000-06:00

K had 1/8 cup of mashed potatoes, 3oz of bananas and for his bedtime finale...

10oz of formula!

I don't think he's ever had that much formula at one time! His buddha-ness is sleeping with a nice full tummy.

Up For the Challenge?

2007-03-06T13:19:00.000-06:00

K has the over the ear, fly away (far, far away) look to his hair right now. Plus, his hair is growing rapidly over his forehead. Try as I might to keep it perfectly coiffed, his hair ends up the same way every day - shaggy.

Dooneybug has inspired me to ponder taking K in for his first haircut. I'm inspired...to ponder. Translation: I'm thinking about it and figuring out whether we're up for the challenge.

Yup, that's as far as I got.

On The Upswing

2007-03-04T19:39:00.000-06:00

K is doing much better. He's been playing a lot, chasing the cats and getting back to his normal self.
J, well J is still working on it. Whatever this flu is, it has been taking about a week to get over.
Me? Well, I'm counting my blessings that I've only had to deal with the head cold.

K has also managed to stand on his own for approximately .00001 of a second. LOL. It can only get better.

He has also learned how to wave "hi" and "bye". Take that, clapping hands homework! HA!

What We See Out Our Window

2007-03-02T15:02:00.000-06:00

Over a foot of snow later, we've managed to dig out our cars and make our way to work, even if somewhat begrudgingly.

"It" & When Will They Learn...

2007-02-28T16:13:00.000-06:00

J has "it". I don't dare mention what "it" is for fear that I am next in line, but if you read any of my posts over the weekend, you already know of "it" that will remain un-named.
(good god, I'm stuck in a harry potter movie...)

K is doing better. He's holding liquids down and some solid foods. Although B at daycare decided to put him in the swing approximately 30 minutes after he ate, which led him to throw up. Ooohhh, when will they learn...

K is also back on Zantac. We don't know if it will help, but he's been arching his back, screaming his head off and "wet burpy" so it's possible his reflux/heartburn is a contributing factor to his grumpiness.

When will this f-ed up flu season go away?!

Meme = Scientific?

2007-02-28T12:51:00.000-06:00

I've been working on my Profile and have been looking through different meme's to get some ideas. After doing a Google search, my beloved Wikipedia threw me a curve ball.

Ok, so maybe I'm a bit daft but meme's didn't strike me as something that originated in science.
I figured they were just a blogging....."thing".

Go ahead, shake your head and wriggle your index finger at me, I can take it.

Little Man

2007-02-26T16:07:00.000-06:00

Trying to not end the day on a bad post, here is a pic of K watching TV.
Don't worry, he was being educated on the ~~IMPENDING DOOM OF MORE SNOW~~ weather for the evening

Update

2007-02-26T15:27:00.000-06:00

Dr appt went fine. Dr. A told us to keep K on a liquid diet until he keeps it down for at least 24 hours. Then we can slowly introduce solids, via the BRAT diet.

K is doing ok. I guess the aftermath of the stomach flu is worse than the actual flu. Go figure.

Now the trick is to get my 10 month old to understand why he can only have 3 oz of formula at a time...

I Got Nothin'

2007-02-26T09:56:00.000-06:00

Recap:
Thursday, late afternoon -
J picks up K from daycare and they tell him that he has thrown up everything.
We get home, K throws up again.
The three of us go to urgent care to see what to do.
Dr. S says give him Pedialyte and then formula. If he tolerates those well, add solids in 24 hours.

Friday -
MIL, V, watches K for us. He doesn't throw up and even has a tiny bit of a saltine craker around noon. He drinks the Pedialyte and formula with no problem.
K does get a fever.

Saturday -
Fever goes down a bit. We continue his liquid diet until about 3 PM-ish. Decide to have him try some applesauce. Within 10 minutes, K has thrown up. We go back to the liquid diet.

Sunday -
K is out of character. He's keeping liquids down, but is incredibly fussy, arching his back, wants to be held but doesn't want to be held, rubs his eyes a lot, and does not want to play with anything.
We take him in to urgent care again. Dr. D tells us to stop giving him Pedialyte, put him on lactose free formula and resume his normal diet. (Note: this is the complete opposite of everything we've researched and been told by other DR.s)
We go home and around 4 PM-ish, do what Dr. D told us and gave him 1/2 jar of bananas. Within 10 minutes, the bananas were everywhere but in K's tummy. We cleaned him off and within 5 minutes of that, K got sick again.
J called the urgent care and chewed the ass of the barely there nurse and Dr. D (now known as Dr. dumshit in this house hold) for giving us directions that made our son sick again!
I called the on-call nurse for our Pediatrician and confirmed that we were doing the right thing by continuing the liquid diet and keeping our focus on making sure K didn't get dehydrated.
I also looked up on our Pediatrican's website and confirmed their treatment for vomiting was also what we had been doing this entire time.

Monday -
K had a 7 oz bottle, of which he drank 4 oz before vomiting, so he really only had 3 oz. He was fussy, only played for a little bit (20 minutes maybe) and wouldn't take any more formula. He arched his back, cried and I didn't know what to do.
We sat on the couch, wrapped up in his blanket and watched Fox News. After some wriggling, "dadada, mamamam, lala, babba", I watched K's eyes get heavy and he went to sleep.
I am in the process of doing 4 more loads of laundry (including the comforer on which K got sick on this morning) and counting down the minutes until our appt with the Ped, Dr. A.

I'm trying to figure out what to do about Dr. dumbshit, trying to understand what the hell is going on with my son, worried sick about him and about how J is handling all of this, wondering if this is related to K's reflux he had early on and if he should be back on Zantac...
as the title of this post clearly states -

I GOT NOTHIN'!

Somebody Rub My Tummy

2007-02-24T20:26:00.000-06:00

and make me feel better.

Check It Out!

2007-02-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

Our new winter place! We can't wait to move in! No germs, no icky vomit, no dust or cat dander - it's perfect.
No need to visit the DR when we're here! Nothing will get us. It's going to be great!

OK, back to reality.
I have had a head cold for a week, K caught a tummy bug yesterday and has barely been keeping down Pedialyte. J, well, J is the last one to be un-touched. We'll see if he can make it through the weekend.

I understand that germs are helpful to our immune systems but geez-is! When my little man can't keep 1 teaspoon of liquid in his stomach, the benefit of before-mentioned germs eludes me.

Odd One Out

2007-02-20T20:34:00.000-06:00

I wasn't anticpating THIS quite so soon. I also wasn't expecting it to be me who is the odd one out.

It's hard for me to even put I how feel into words.......

Crusin' Part Two

2007-02-18T20:43:00.001-06:00

Ramblings

2007-02-16T10:28:00.000-06:00

1. So I've been tinkering around and have gotten things set up the way I like. I may switch a few things around, but it's going MUCH better than yesterday. Thanks goes to DD for the idea of adding books, etc to the left hand side. :)

2. I get to buy new pants! Go ahead, scratch your head and go WTF? I told myself that I wouldn't buy new clothes until I had lost more of the baby weight and (with the exception of a couple sweaters that are required during the Midwest winter) I haven't. That means my wardrobe has been pretty limited. I get to shop for me now and look forward to finding pants a)in a smaller size! and b)perhaps in a color other than black.

3. I've been doing pretty good on weight watchers and with exercising. Since I re-started (the 5th time) after having K I've lost 4 pounds. :) I still need to watch myself on the weekends, but I'm getting better.

4. K is an independent madman daredevil who inherited my forceful self-will and impatience. Let the battle of wills begin.

So far so good

2007-02-16T09:48:00.001-06:00

Not the end, but...

2007-02-15T21:25:00.000-06:00

I've been working on this for a bit and I'm making progress.
I'm no where near done, but the layout is close and I'm not having the funky WTF-ever with the right side bar.

Ok, Help Again

2007-02-15T16:34:00.000-06:00

It seems that the post that's at the top of the page is going to run the length of the links on the right hand side.
Any suggestions on how to fix this?

Calling All Techies...

2007-02-15T13:51:00.000-06:00

I'm redesigning my blog and I have a banner that I'm trying to put in place at the top.
I've been playing with code and I'm about to break something...
Anyone have suggestions on what to do or know anyone who'd like to take a crack at it?

UPDATE - Nevermind, I done figured it out. :)

UPDATE X 2 - Still working some kinks out and I can't figure out why there is so much space at the end of this post, so just go with it people! LOL

Heart Pumping Morning

2007-02-12T08:18:00.000-06:00

We've gotten a lot of snow where I live this year. No where near upstate NY, but enough. So what does that snow do when the temperature gets above freezing? Well, it melts.
Now pay attention - this next part is very important. What happens to melted snow overnight when the temp gets way below freezing...
it freezes! Very good. I knew you were smart bloggers. :)

When I pulled my car into the driveway of B's daycare, I was aware that it was slick. I commended myself on my astitute observation as I walked around the rear of the car to get K.
(this is where it gets good, people! Commence eating lots of popcorn as the plot builds)
I unbuckle K and what do I notice....
.
.
.
.
.
my car starts sliding backwards! Not fast, but enough that I am at a complete loss of what to do. I look at the steering wheel and know that the car is indeed off, the keys are out of the ignition, it is in Park...I've no idea what in the hell to do.
I call out "Help" a couple times, but there is no one outside to hear so it was completely pointless.
I look at K (whose is wondering why I haven't gotten him out yet), I try to figure out if there is any way I can keep the car from speeding down the driveway and into the lawn of the house across the street.
Eventually, the car stopped. I let go of the door frame and the car continued to not move. Carefully I closed the car door, made my way around to the driver's side and got in. I started the car and got out of that damn driveway, pulling into a spot along the curb instead.

We are both fine, although my nerves are shot. I anticpate my adreline will be back to normal around noon.....NEXT WEEK!

So, I'll be submitting a suggestion for Worst Case Scenarios to update their book to include options on what to do when:
A. Your car is sliding downhill on ice
B. You're wearing full office wardrobe right down to the 3 inch heels
C. You are also sliding downhill on ice
D. You have an infant in the car
E. No one is around to offer help
F. You can't reach your purse to get the cell phone in order to call daycare and have them send someone out the help

Yeah, I think that will do.

As Close to Crafty As I Get

2007-02-10T09:37:00.000-06:00

My first attempt at making a "no sew" blanket was not great.
My second attempt, much better.

If K likes it...

2007-02-10T09:30:00.000-06:00

It must be good!

Who Knew?!

2007-02-08T20:44:00.000-06:00

If I had known that pillows would make K overjoyed, well, I could've saved a lot of money!

Doin' da butt

2007-02-08T20:43:00.000-06:00

DOH!

2007-02-06T10:55:00.000-06:00

So I backup up all the files on my PC like I do every year and it hit me that I missed one very important thing:
I can't tell you WHAT because if I did then the worst would happen and I would be very, very ~~PISSED~~ sad.

UPDATE:
So the WHAT to which I was referring to was my blog. I have all of it backed up and my nerves can rest a little bit easier. I've also set it up so that all of my posts get emailed to me as another "back up".

Ahhhhhhh, I really do feel better about it now.

Um, What?

2007-02-06T09:15:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had a moment when you discoved that someone wasn't what you expected them to be, even though you've gotten to know them over 4 years?

I have a pretty decent relationship with my boss, B. We're not THISCLOSE, but we share family stories, political opinions, vent about work without crossing the boss/co-worker line. She is one of the better managers I've ever gotten to work for.

That's why when she started talking about wanting her daughter in law (DIL) to stop breastfeeding now that the baby is 8 weeks old, I was taken aback. No joke, she is adamant about her stopping! The latest story is that overnight when the baby cries for food, DIL will get him out of the bassinet next to the bed and lay back down with him and feed. B is calling this lazy!

Okay, maybe I have a feminist streak in me, but I assumed that all women would be supportive of any mom breastfeeding. I had a hard time with it, but I'm glad that other moms can make it work. If anything, it makes me want to try harder at breastfeeding if J and I get to have another child.

As far as the "lazy" comment, they encourage you to do this to bond and held keep things calm overnight. That way baby doesn't get wide awake from moving all around the place and the mom can be relaxed.

I now understand why B seemed disappointed when I told her I was going to breastfeed K. I really don't get it.

I feel let down. Unsupported. It's enough that the state I live in has only one law about breastfeeding and that is that we wouldn't have to be on jury duty.
I'm taking B's attitude personal. I know that I shouldn't. I can't help it though. It's going to irritate me for a while...

Key To My Heart

2007-02-02T10:30:00.000-06:00

I don't normally buy into sappy keepsakes, but sometimes one or two stand out and I M . U . S . T . have them. LOL

So I was reading in a magazine about these key chains that could be personalized and were super fancy with Swarovski crystals.
(Ooooh, shiny things...)
I went to the web site for key to my heart and found one of those M.U.S.T. haves.

I received mine today and it looks great! I've already decided to get some for the grandparents and sister in law (even though she often makes me scratch my head like a primate digging for.....well, I don't know what they're digging for but they do scratch their heads for a long time).

So, is there any point to this post? Shameless plug and the revelation that I'm a sucker for really f-ing awesome keepsakes.

Dr. Appt Update

2007-02-01T09:40:00.000-06:00

We took K in to the opthamologist yesterday and everything is fine. J and I were both thankful, even after THIS conversation.

Dr T. told us that K has Pseudostrabismus.
I never knew about this, so it was nice to get more information.

I Need A Little More Kick, Ma

2007-01-31T20:35:00.000-06:00

Actual Dew consumption = 0.0000000000000001

Share?

2007-01-31T10:42:00.000-06:00

I've noticed that some bloggers share their blog with family and friends.
To the (-5) visitors here, may I ask what made you decide to do that?
I don't think I could share it with anyone. I let it all out here and would probably end up sensoring myself.

Sometimes I Just Need

2007-01-30T13:26:00.000-06:00

to feel that my opinion matters. That someone gives a shit about what advice I can offer or the experiences I've had.

This gets complicated.

Throughout Sister in law, C's (SIL-C) pregnancy not once did she ask for tips or what it REALLY felt like during the third trimester, etc.
As she passed her due date and was facing induction, still nothing. It's no secret that I was induced. I could've given pointers, etc. Could've offered suggestions on what to pack - anything.
Now that Baby U is here, I have a lot of ideas/suggestions that honest-to-god are helpful.

But here I sit, knowing that she won't ask.
There've been times when I've just offered unsolicted advice - I don't know why, to hear myself talk I guess.
I don't want to be one of those people who does that, though.

I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe it's because there's no one else I know who has a 9 month old (or even close to it). Maybe it's because I feel totally alone in this new world of parenting. Maybe it's a lot of things. Maybe I just need to feel like I have something to contribute, something to validate my experiences.

In the end, I just need to feel that I matter.

UPDATE:
Just found out that SIL-C doesn't want visitors during her recovery. Not even her or her husband's parents. WTF?! I can somewhat understand not wanting an influx of people, but to exclude the parents...?
J called and spoke to D (C's husband) earlier today and asked if it was alright if we came up this Sunday to visit and see Baby U. He got a weird "vibe" and a not-an-answer, like it's going to be 2 months before we get to see the baby. FFS!!! This is family, not some autumn carnival show!
In response to DD's comment, I gave her quite the bounty at her baby shower and I have an impressive bounty waiting for her now. C is hard to read - the perfect example being what I mentioned above about her not wanting any visitors at all.

Perfect Waste of Time

2007-01-29T13:38:00.000-06:00

I found this via another site and it made me laugh.

My, How B I G You Are

2007-01-29T13:22:00.000-06:00

I decided to get contact lenses after K's numerous attempts to pull off my glasses or rack me with a plastic toy in the face. It's been a good 12 years since I wore contacts and I gotta tell you it's taking a bit to get used to.

For one, everything looks B I G G E R! Like my brain is in "3x zoom" mode.
This does not fare well with my 9 month post-partum reflection in the mirror, people!
No, this does not do great things for the ego, therefore I go...
immediately out of the way of any reflection - be it from a mirror, window, car door.

Homework?

2007-01-28T20:47:00.000-06:00

K's 9 month appt went well. We did, however, get assigned "homework".

Seems that K should be clapping his hands together by now and he isn't. He is usually pounding toys on the coffee table or trying to grab my glasses and toss them across the room. Apparently, that doesn't meet the "standards".

Anyway, our job is to help K learn how to clap his hands via the rhyme
Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake.

Ker-splat

2007-01-25T16:36:00.000-06:00

This is the sound of my brain after a phone conversation with J.

K was referred to an Opthmologist for one of his eyes that is just slightly turning inward. You actually don't notice it unless you know it's there.
So an appointment was made.

Not more than an hour later, J calls back and wants to cancel the appointment. He has "this feeling" that the DR will tell us K is fine and that his eye will fix itself. He doesn't want to piss away more money on Dr. bills.

I understand his point. We've gone to the Dr. a lot in K's first few months and are just now getting to the point of paying off some of them. Most of the appointments were due to nervous first-time-parent-itis, I admit. Even still, it's better to make sure that we're doing the right thing as far as treating diarrhea/ear infection/whatever cold hits this month. It stinks to have to add to the medical bills again, but that's the way it goes.

My brain promptly exploded as J said he wants to make sure K is ok, but would rather take the chance on that than make sure by going to the Dr.

I don't even think I can really described the "WTF?!" that flooded my head during his call. I love, love, love J. Right now, I just want to glare at him.

I know money has been tight. I know another appointment won't help that. I also know that insurance is there to help us out and that as long as we make regualr payments they can't harrass us.

I also know that if it means I don't get to buy a fancy new 4GB flash drive or the Video Camera (so that our videos are much easier on the eyes), then so be it.

My How We've Grown!

2007-01-23T10:04:00.000-06:00

This at 2 weeks:
This is around 3 months:
This is at 8 months:
K's 9 month appt with DR A is this afternoon and I was just thinking about how much he's accomplished since the 6 month appt. From just barely sitting up on his own to starting to cruise along furniture, he's learned so much. I'm very excited for him. He's becoming a little boy.
It seems easier to take care of him at this stage (for now!) than it was when he was younger. Don't get me wrong, we still have our challenges, but it was so much more work before. I'd go through it again, but only if I could take the knowledge I've gained with me. I think it would go a bit smoother. I guess all first time parents say that, huh.

Cruisin'...on a Sunday Afternoon

2007-01-21T11:30:00.001-06:00

It's a Winter Wonderland

2007-01-21T11:11:00.000-06:00

For the past 3 weekends, we've gotten snow. Not just a little bit, either. Last nights tally: 8 inches of winter wonderland. There hasn't been this much snow here in a very long time. I'm impressed.

K was intrigued

One Pleased Family

2007-01-20T20:10:00.000-06:00

So there is this couple that I really don't like. J used to work with them years ago and they have kept in touch. I'm not really that "connected" to them. I know this couple through J. We've hung out at times, etc, but that's about it.

Anyway, I could go into a long explanation of why and what happened to make me not care to be around them, but I summarize it as best as I can. They are both flaky and rarely follow through with things. We set up "couple dates" and they back out or they set up the dates and then forget! As a "planner", that doesn't go over well with me. The also over exaggerate things! The gusto with which they use to describe people and situations is more over the top than a 4 years olds imagination! That also doesn't help me tolerate them. You can only take 1/4 of what they say as a glimpse of truth. Everything else is bullshit.

Fast forward to Thursday night when they call and say they are having a joint birthday party and would like us to come. I prepare myself for a night of having to put on a good face but thankful that K will be with us and I can "hide" with him.
Get to today and their party is at 7:30 PM - um yeah that won't work because K is in bed at that time. J seemed a little bummed. I immediately thought how nice it was that I didn't have to fake it. Of course, then I got back into the "good wife" mode and realized that we both didn't have to stay home. K would be asleep and that would require only one of us to be at home. I told J this and how I wouldn't mind staying home. He's better friends with them anyway and I couldn't give a f*** what they do as long as I don't have to be there for it.

Needless to say, J was pleased with this arrangement. I was pleased. We were one very pleased family! Sweeeeeeeet!

Woman (+) Weird Car Noise (x) Hunch = I Was Right!

2007-01-18T15:17:00.000-06:00

We've all heard the addage that women and cars don't generally go together, at least as far as anything mechanical is concerned. While that may be true for some, I can now stand tall and proud because I was right about a funky noise my car was making not being good.

Backstory:
It's been f-ing cold here. I mean really f-ing cold. Monday and Tuesday the highs were below 0! Those were the high temps!

Anyway, most cars don't agree with extremly cold weather. I don't blame them. On Monday, my car started to make this weird groaning noise when I would turn left or right. J, my darling husband, and a few others were saying that it was just because of the cold temperatures. I figured eh, maybe.

After driving most of the week with this groaning coming from the steering column/area, I just decided to get it checked out. J, thinking I was over-reacting, shrugged his shoulders and said "Do what you think is best. I say just wait it out."

J, I love you, but f-off this time! : )

I get my car to a mechanic and sure enough (!!!!!) there was a problem. It was in the suspension and steering: a link for the sway bars was bad and that was causing the noise. HA, aren't you impressed I know what a sway bar is and that it's related to suspension! So there it is. I was right about a mechanical car problem AND I'm a woman. Take that!

Sometimes, a hunch can be all it takes.

Now if I could just have a hunch about this weeks lottery numbers.......

So Worth It

2007-01-16T16:14:00.000-06:00

I'm speechless. I could look at picture's of K all day long. I feel fortunate that he is in my life. I've only been able to say that about one other person and that is J. Now I get 2 people to love. Of course they drive me crazy from time to time, but at the end of the day.....
it's so worth it.

Signing Progress or Wishful Thinking?

2007-01-16T13:53:00.000-06:00

I was feeding K his breakfast this morning and doing the sign for eat and more like I always do when we sit down at the table, when what do I spy with my little eye?
K signing eat! He did it a couple times and then he 1/2 did it and 1/2 played with some food in his mouth. LOL.
He's still learning and we have a ways to go, but I think he's getting it. Slowly, but that's okay. He's got a lot going on with being a super-fast cruising crawler, teething and scoping out the babes on the local morning TV show segment called "1st Birthdays". Ah, yes...my husband's son indeed!

Never To Be Held Back!

2007-01-14T10:24:00.000-06:00

K has figured out the kittie escape hatch.

He has also figured out that he cannot fit through it.
This caused many, many tears.

Quick...out the kittie escape hatch!

2007-01-14T10:18:00.000-06:00

Kittie M:
The child roams free! How do we escape?
Kittie B:
Quick...through here!

What Have We Been Up To

2007-01-14T10:09:00.000-06:00

Playing with Daddy's remote control

Helping Mommy make the bed

Playing with our spoon

and finally...
Napping

Nickname, schmickname...

2007-01-04T16:25:00.000-06:00

From the top of the stairs a voice rang out:
"And K will be named "Junior Mint" and so shall it pass and forever be (or until he starts looking at us funny)."

Back From the Ledge

2007-01-02T15:16:00.000-06:00

Okay, so my walking-the-ledge self has calmed down now.

My life isn't all that bad. I will admit that at times I make mountains out of mole-hills.

That's not to say that we (as a family) haven't had to endure a lot of shit over the past year. However, it could be a lot (LOT) worse.

There may be an occassional vent, but I'm going to try and quit whining and be much more grateful.

Me = Pre-Clarence George Bailey

2007-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?

Nick, It's A Wonderful Life

Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You claimed you were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me "a warped, frustrated, old man!" Who are you but a warped, frustrated young man, crawling in here on your hands and knees begging for help. No securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin' but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy. You're worth more dead than alive.

Mr. Potter [to George Bailey], It's A Wonderful Life

I don't remember when the last time I watched that movie was. A very long time, that's for sure.
I'm sneaking in this post while J is out (braving the snow and ice that covers the city today) to get Chinese food. K is asleep and I'm left here thinking. I've been thinking all day, actually. Sometimes that's not a good thing. Sometimes I end up feeling like throwing my hands up in the air and screaming WTF?! I’m not so far removed from being exactly like George Bailey in the beginning of the movie. I’d say I’m pretty much feeling exactly the same way.
Don’t worry, I won’t be going near any bridges. I may lock myself in the bathroom for 15-20 minutes, though.

So the last day of 2006 has been pretty much like the entire year: for every good thing there were 3 bad things.

The morning started off fine. As time went by, I worked on getting K to take a nap. Everything I had read said that children should be rested and fed before getting pictures taken. That was my goal today. I wouldn’t be here typing this if that had been accomplished. K napped for shit all morning. Somehow, he did get an hour nap in from 10:40 – until about 11:45. He woke up cranky and hungry. Just. Great.
We get ourselves ready for the pictures, get out to the car, clean the snow and ice off of the car and make our way to the studio. Half way there, the windshield wipers stop working. Completely. J pulls over, gets out to see what the hell is the problem. He can’t figure it out and gets frustrated. We were thisclose to canceling the appointment but since we were only 3 minutes away, we just went. Just. Fucking. Great.
When we pull into a parking space, guess what…..

Wait for it….

Wait for it…

Wait…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The goddamn wipers start working again! J lets out a grunt. I don’t say a word.

The pictures went fine, surprisingly. We had one set taken as a family and one set of just K. K did really well. No meltdowns, no spitting up on his clothes. The appointment itself was short and we didn’t get to use any props, but that’s okay. This was really more of a test run than anything else. We can use props later.
They had us review the pics on a shitty monitor, so I hope they turn out okay. I think K’s will be fine, but the family one worries me. Mainly because what you see on a monitor isn’t always what comes out on the print.

Due to the increasingly shitty weather, we didn’t get to go to Best Buy to look at video cameras or Alltel to look at the Motorola Razr phones. Mommy really wants a new phone! I got a gift card to use and it’s burning a hole in my pocket!
That just made the day seem even more shittier. We were more or less cooped up at home. K hated it, J hated it and I hated it.

Like I said, for every good thing…shit happens. I’m so hoping 2007 is better. I’m not naïve enough to expect perfection, but I am hopeful that the “drama” will subside. This is no damn soap opera, this is my life.

F-U 2006, F-U!

2006-12-31T23:59:00.000-06:00

(Courtesy of The Young Ones)

Determined

2006-12-28T16:43:00.000-06:00

I am taking K in to get professional pictures done. It will be our first time doing this, so we'll see how he does.
I'm concerned because I have to pick a time that doesn't interfere with nap time, feeding time, grumpy time (LOL).
I've been hesitant because I just don't know how he will do. I don't want to waste time or money on shitty pictures.
Another reason for this "adventure"?
We have one (1) picture of the three of us as a family. One! Through summer, fall and now winter we keep hearing that some family member will take our picture together but it never seems to happen. Well, it's going to happen now dammit!

I'm probably just asking for trouble. I guess we'll find out.

Teeth, Teeth & More Teeth!

2006-12-28T11:29:00.000-06:00

aka - So this is why he's been such a pain in the a**!

Over the past month, K has had his 2 bottom teeth work themselves upward. They've been poking through for a while. Then, 2 top teeth came in and have been working through for almost 2 weeks. Low and behold, another top tooth is cutting now!

When K is getting a new tooth - he is FUSSY and CLINGY! He is not the K I know! LOL. This requires lots (and lots) of Tylenol. Early bedtimes aren't a bad thing either.

2006-12-27T15:15:00.000-06:00

S.

[noun]:

A real life muppet

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Recap

2006-12-24T20:35:00.001-06:00

I read this meme on No Period Baby and thought I'd make the same list. Not that I really want to re-live this year. There have been bright spots, but overall 2006 sucked the big one.

January: I'm finally starting to look pregnant now, instead of "fluffy" or "thick" LOL.

February: I was thinking the other day that we're in the single digits as far as weeks left in my pregnancy.

March: Since baby has been getting larger, J and I have been playing name that body part - whether it's a heel, foot, butt, head - you name it we've been trying to guess it.

April: It's really starting to sink in that by this time next week, Baby H should be here

May: He arrived last Tuesday (4/25/06) at 3:09 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long.

June: I feel like everything that was stable around me and my family is now dissolving.

July: There's so much that I didn't anticipate in regards to having a baby/being a parent.

August: I am so not focused on getting any work done. I keep looking at pictures of K on my desk and would really love to be home with him.

September: Teaching a 5 month old how to eat from a spoon requires more zen patience than I could muster from my pinky toe.

October: by watching our son fall off the bed and land on his head. Not the side, not the back - ON TOP OF HIS HEAD.

November: I'm not sure that I have it in me to re-hash all of yesterday's events. I have to though in order to get the monkey off my back and attempt to move on.

December: After being buried in laundry all week (as well as runny poo diapers and the vigilent stomach flu) it was quite a nice surprise to see that I'd won the Mad Libs contest over at Dooneybug Days.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important" - The Fox

2006-12-22T20:17:00.000-06:00

I have heard of The Little Prince before, but never read it. I don't know why. It just never found it's way onto my "must read" radar.

My interest has been piqued now due to a profound post by B at cribchronicles.com .

B has such a great way of explaining the responsibility of being a parent. It's not a burden of I have to do this, but more of I get to do this.

I have so many thoughts racing through my head, I don't even know where to begin. Well, yes I do actually. I need to read the book. Then I'll try and organize the ga-zillion ideas into a coherent post.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T08:56:00.000-06:00

Weeeeee!

2006-12-20T15:23:00.001-06:00

Old "Haunts"

2006-12-18T10:43:00.000-06:00

On our way to the family Christmas lunch, J, K and I had some time to kill in order to avoid arriving too early.
We drove around where we used to live, party, work - just rehashing some memories of being in college and living during a time in our lives when we didn't have to think about having careers or "making something of ourselves".

This place was the first cool apartment that I mentioned HERE.

It was nice to see it again, but it was also sad. The place has been let go since I left. I guess 10 years is hard on buildings as much as people. It was painful to see the white paint chipping around the windows and doors. There really is so much character to this place - an old hotel converted into apartments.

It does almost look haunted now. Haunted and run down...

too bad.

Peace

2006-12-14T20:31:00.000-06:00

K's Birth Story

2006-12-14T11:38:00.000-06:00

I realized after visiting a few other blogs that I hadn't created this. So, here it is - finally.

K was due on April 18th, but decided he wanted to wait it out. I was anxious as hell but I figured I’d go one more week.

After no joy on K’s part to move his own self out, I went in to have labor induced. I had been 80 – 90% effaced and 3cm dialted for 3 weeks, so things were favorable.

On April 25th, J and I got up early – really damn early, like 6 am early. (Sleeping in until 6am will become a god send later on – hell, just sleeping will garner exhaltations of joy!)

We went to the hospital where I was admitted around 7 am and then started changing into the gown, signing paperwork, getting the IV, taking a few picutres, etc.
The nurse started Pitocin and J and I just hung out watching early morning television. There really wasn’t much going on. I was hooked up to a machine that monitored contractions and it was fun to watch for a while. I didn’t feel much of anything, maybe a twinge.

Did I mention K was in no hurry to come out?!

Around 9:30am, (2 hours after starting the Pitocin) I started to feel pretty strong contractions. Pretty strong as in the worst mentstrual cramps EVER!
Did I do the breathing techniques that were practiced in the birthing class? Are you kidding me?! I could barely breath through them at all, much less add “technique”! When the first one passed, I cried a bit. Not sobbing, but enough to let the nurse know things were progressing.

Another contraction hit and I held onto the side bar of the bed and squeezed J’s hand so hard it turned pale pink/almost white. Then I cried more.
At that point, the nurse asked if I wanted the epidural. I said yes, and hurry up! I was more than ready to abandon my immense fear of the large needle going into my back!

I only had to wait 15 minutes or so for the anthesiologist to come in and it didn’t take him long. The epidural calmed things down 20 minutes later.

Then it was more waiting. Again, K was in no hurry. LOL

The nurse checked me and I was making progress. Dialating 1-2 cm, effacing stayed about the same.

About 10:40, the nurse decided that I needed to roll over on my left side. K did not like that one damn bit! We had a little bit of a scare because his heart rate dropped. In less than a minute the room filled with 4 other nurses and the labor/delivery resident DR on duty. Before I knew it, they had me turned completely over on all fours with my bare butt in the air, playing around “down there”. I remember J asking for someone – anyone – to tell him what the hell was going on.
I couldn’t see much since I was positioned like a dog on the bed, but I could see J had been forced from my bedside to standing by the wall. I don’t even want to know what must have been going through his mind. I can imagine how frightening that must’ve looked – the room filling up with 5 other people instantly, your wife flopped over in a hospital bed in a matter of seconds, your unborn son’s heartrate dropping, not knowing why or what will happen next. Thankfully one of the nurses did her best to reassure him that they were concerned with K’s heartrate going down and they were working to get him to even out.

The monitor (that had been placed on K’s head earlier) was being moved around, they were poking him to get him to move – everything to get his heart rate back up. His heart rate came back up and when everyone was satisfied that the scare was over, they rolled me back over and I got to stay laying in my back – just with the bed raised at a higher incline. It was after that that I realized the epidural was working just fine. Too fine, in fact, because I couldn’t move my left leg at all. My right one could move a little bit, but no way on the left.

Whew! Just typing that made me tense. Everything was much calmer after that. You know, I think I waited preparing K’s birth story because of that. It was quite a lot to process then and scares the shit out of me now. Ok, moving on.

The nurse checked my progress more and I was dialating still 1-2 cm per hour. J and I just watched the Travel Channel/Food Channel. There really wasn’t much more that happened........until

Finally! Around 2:30pm, I was completely dialated and effaced and ready to start pushing. The nurse got me started and Dr. T arrived around 2:45pm.
I don’t remember how many times I pushed. I would take a deep breath and the nurse, Dr. T and the labor/delivery resident DR on duty would count to 10 while I pushed. We went through this routine probably 7 times. With each push, K’s head would come out a little more. Everyone could see his black hair, he was that close. They kept telling me to push, and since I couldn’t feel a thing, I did my best.

Like I mentioned before, K was in no hurry!

Dr. T had to use the forceps to get K out. I was hesitant at first but I’d rather have the forceps than the vacuum. She did a great job, though. I think I pushed one more time, maybe two, and K popped right out! Not a mark on him for the forceps, which I was grateful for.

I had been closing my eyes while pushing and since K came out fast, I briefly got to see him being taken over to the warming table to get cleaned up.

K cried, J cried, I was speechless. I didn’t cry because I was exhausted. It felt so surreal. Once K was ready, they handed him to me to hold and I just stared at him, saying calming words to him, looking into his eyes. Poor guy, he looked so scared at times. Other times, K looked sedated.
We held him for a while, then both sets of grandparents got to hold him.
They only gave us an hour to be with K after delivery. Then the nurses took him to get his hospital bath, fresh clothes, big blanket and little striped hat.

The rest of my hospital stay I was a complete idiot. Still shell shocked from everything, I fumbled around, cried, felt incredibly lonely when J wasn’t around. The nurses were okay, but not great. It wasn’t the experience I had hoped for. I didn’t get treated badly or anything – just left to figure it all out on my own, which was incredibly daunting. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing – didn’t know how to change a diaper, breastfeed, soothe K when he cried – nothing. Other than the occassional nurse or student coming in to check my vitals, I was left alone to figure it all out. It became trial by fire.

If I’d change things about my experience, it would be (1) the incident with K’s heart rate dropping and (2) I’d speak up more! I would demand attention and make it very clear that I had no idea what in the hell to do. I wouldn’t be mean about it, but I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be pushed aside.

So there it is, almost 8 months later. Overall, even with it not being the best stay at a hospital, I’m grateful that K was born healthy and that J was able to be there with me.

Psyching Myself Up

2006-12-14T08:35:00.000-06:00

I'm preparing myself for this upcoming Sunday. Why? Because the entire family is getting together again for the "Family Christmas".
Oh Joy.............NOT!
Flashback to Thanksgiving - I'm hoping it doesn't turn out that way again. This time, however, J will be keeping an eye on things. I really do hope that this get together is better, but I'm not holding my breath.

So Far So Good

2006-12-14T08:32:00.000-06:00

I've been doing pretty good this weekend with Weight Watchers and exercising. Every afternoon I drive home, get in a 5 minute walk and then 15 minute jog and then drive back to work. It reminds me of being in a high school gym class, LOL. Having to do the quick "wipe down/dry off" and then rush to get dressed again and out the door.
It's been good, though. I have the entire place to myself and can watch reruns of MadTV on Comedy Central.

As Promised - Round One Weight Watcher Pictures

2006-12-12T08:03:00.000-06:00

This was taken in the fall of 2003. I was approximately 160 pounds.

This was taken in the fall of 2005. I weighed approximately 126 pounds.

It's amazing what can be accomplished when you really want it. I guess I've just been trying to get back to that point of really wanting to loose this weight. I can blame it on stress, or whatever, but the fact is that I need to quit "trying" to follow the Weight Watcher program and just do it.

I am currently weighing in around 150, so I look pretty much like the 2003 picture. I don't care who knows. I'm putting this out there. Consider it one way I'm holding myself accountable.

Day One

2006-12-11T13:32:00.000-06:00

So today I am back on Weight Watchers. I've been working on it loosely over the past few months, but I've finally gotten so sick of not loosing weight and half-assedly trying.

I lost almost 40 pounds with Weight Watchers before getting pregnant. I even kept it off for almost 2 years! If I can find the before/after pictures during my first round of WW, I'll post them. More as a reminder of what I can do and intend to do again (if it kills me, dammit!)

Today, I've followed the points program and I went home over lunch to get my jog/walk in. It was only 20 minutes total (10 of it jogging) but it's better than not doing anything at all. Plus, I had the place entirely to myself. No crying baby in the other room, no husband asking me how much longer I have, nothing. It was quite nice.

The side "benefit" is that my credit cards will get a break. LOL! I work very close to a mall and while that works well to get the Christmas shopping done during the day, it has played havok on reducing the balance of the before-mentioned cards.

So here goes, day one.

Mad Libs & Good 'Ol Hockey

2006-12-09T20:33:00.000-06:00

After being buried in laundry all week (as well as runny poo diapers and the vigilent stomach flu) it was quite a nice surprise to see that I'd won the Mad Libs contest over at Dooneybug Days. I don't have an acceptance speech or anything! LOL. You can check it out here.

J and I got to go to a hockey game last night, too. The first one we went to this season ended abruptly when we couldn't get through to my mom who was watching K. Turns out a button was hit that kept my phone from receiving calls and that was why we couldn't get through.
Anyway, J and I enjoyed a full hockey game for the first time in over a year. It was so nice, I can't really put it into words. It was like our first date night since K was born. Sure, we've been out to the movies a couple times alone, but this time we got to eat (french fries, funnel cake and ice cream) and just sit back and watch our team win.

I'm watching Heros as I type this and now it's getting really good. Getting really good?! What the hell and I saying? The entire series is good.
I'll post more later.

Thanks again, DD, for the Mad Libs nod!

Yay Food!

2006-12-07T16:38:00.000-06:00

I've managed to keep some soup, a few crackers, diet green tea and kashi go lean bars down.

What I really want?
Pasta, french fries, chocolate shake

Do I dare try it?
No - god knows what will come out!
And -
Only if I want my rear end to be as sore as K's - or unless I want to be sprawled out like K after my bath in my birthday suit, letting my butt dry and then slathering butt paste all over it.

Dramamine, Anyone?

2006-12-06T13:40:00.000-06:00

So the past few days have been "interesting".

Sunday:
K got sick. By sick, I mean it was coming out of both ends. J and I debated on whether to take him to the pediatric urgent care since they'd probably tell us to let it run it's course. Since we hadn't ever dealt with K vomiting we decided to go. Good thing, too, because K has (as the DR said) "a very impressive" ear infection. The words out of my mouth were, "Excuse me? What?"
K, apparently being super human, hadn't given us one sign/symptom that his ear hurt.
We spent the rest of the day just trying to keep liquids in him.

Monday:
K stayed home from daycare. I stayed with him during the morning. J came home around noon to watch him for the rest of the day. By the time I got to work, about 30 minutes after J took over, I was getting sick in the bathroom. I hadn't even been there 5 minutes before I was putting my coat back on to go home.
By 6 pm, J was getting sick.

Tuesday:
J was up until 2 am "taking care of business". He decided to go to work though. I told him he was silly, but since he used up most of his sick/vacation time during his back "episode", he didn't have much choice. I stayed home. I don't have a lot of vacation time left, but there's enough.

So, I'm back among the living - for the most part. The past 2 days I've only eaten a few crackers. Even today, I've managed to keep down some crackers and one of those Campbells Soup at Hand. I'm hungry, but I don't dare push it.

My head has been spinning from trying to keep up with it all. I'm hoping we feel better by Friday. We have tickets to a hockey game and it would be nice to go.

Silly Mommy! Of Course I Want to Play with the Christmas Tree!

2006-11-30T21:13:00.000-06:00

Pod People?! Where?!

2006-11-29T09:08:00.000-06:00

Track #20 - Shout

This is the sound/screech K makes when he gets really, really excited while playing.

Should we be running away?

Happy Turkey Day - Belated

2006-11-27T15:43:00.000-06:00

Message Board + Sad Baby Story = What Have I Done?!

2006-11-27T14:11:00.000-06:00

Please tell me my son won't be brain damaged!

In October, this incident happened.
Today, on a different message board, I read about someone's child that got flipped out of their bassinet and has ever since then been epileptic and mentally retarded.

NOT the thing to read, EVER!
Especially when I still feel horrible about the whole thing.

Hmmm, Maybe a Sign?

2006-11-22T11:04:00.000-06:00

Whether K is sitting in his high chair or playing on the floor, he likes to raise his hands and bang on things. It doesn't matter if it's a toy, his knee, or ME (LOL)!
Anway, I notice that he raises his hand up to his forehead and taps it with his thumb. Much like the sign for Daddy.

Since he waves his hands around while playing, I am not certain that he his doing an actual sign. Plus, he's only 7 months old.

I would be pretty impressed if he was and yet a little sad that he hasn't done anything close to Mommy.

In time, I'm sure.

Moving On

2006-11-21T14:43:00.000-06:00

So, SIL (Aunt C to K) and I got to talk about what happened. She had seen some of the stuff I have mentioned which served to validate me even more. That was nice. It was also nice to make sure that I hadn't said or done anything to piss her off (or anyone else for that matter).

She has a very good perspective on certain members of the family which can only come from knowing them a lot longer than I have. She also knows their "secrets" which makes it easier for her to tune them out when they start being assholes.
I'm sure I'll get there someday.

I'm still a bit jealous that she gets to be pregnant "with" someone else (Aunt/Cousin D in law). They have the opportunity to swap stories, etc. I've decided I'm not going to dwell on it, though. I can't change any of it, so it's time to just move on.
I'm working on doing that with the whole situation from Sunday.

I did find out that Aunt/Cousin D in law and DR N weren't quite expecting to get pregnant so fast (Oh gee darn! Some people would kill for that!) and Dr N is borderline petrified of being a parent. Well, I'm glad. I don't wish any harm to come to them or their baby. It's just nice to find our Mr Know It All Dr is human!

Vindication! & It's On!

2006-11-20T13:51:00.000-06:00

Seems I'm not crazy or reading into things! Mother-in-law V called today and wanted to apologize for the other family members behavior. I told her she better not and that it is not her fault. I thanked her for being there to keep me company.

She felt isolated just like I did and I found out that when she left, she "went off" to W (Father in law) about the entire situation.

Oh, and it gets better. Remember how I mentioned that J thought I was over-reacting and maybe reading into things. Well after he talked to W and found out how V was so angry, J realized that I wasn't being overly emotional. J knows that it takes a lot to get his mom angry and if she's angry, then some shit really did happen.

I feel so much better! In a way. I don't feel good about what happened yesterday, but I feel better that I wasn't the only one to see it and that J understands what REALLY happened.

I also emailed Aunt-in-law C and asked her directly if there was a problem between us. Because I have the cajones bigger than the planet right now, I'll post it here:

Is there a problem between us? I’m not sure if I missed something or said something but I really got mixed vibes yesterday.

At the restaurant we sat at an end of the table to try and not be in the way with the highchair and everyone else sat at the complete opposite end of the table.

I overhead some sarcastic comments made about Killian, as well as when we got to Denise’s home, everyone went downstairs so we go there and then everyone goes upstairs.

I can deal with not being part of the clique, but I don’t appreciate comments made about Killian or being “secluded” because of him.

If I have said something or done something, I would appreciate it being brought to my attention.

So there it is. Talk about calling her out, LOL!

All I can say is, It's On! I don't give a rat's ass if you're family. Talk about my son or push us away and isolate us because we have an infant - It's On, Biotches!!!
It.Is.Fucking.ON!

Re-hash

2006-11-20T10:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure that I have it in me to re-hash all of yesterday's events. I have to though in order to get the monkey off my back and attempt to move on.

The buffett lunch was ok. I expected much more from a country club buffett, but oh well. It wasn't worth the money we paid, though. We've gotten better food at Bonanza!

Strike #1
As we all started to choose our seats, J, K and I chose to sit at one end so that we could have the highchair in between us and not be in the way of everyone else getting up to get their food, etc. What do the rest of the family do? They start filling in the seats at the opposite end of the table. The three of us were on our own little island until more family members came and filled in the rest of the chairs. Okay, whatever. We do not have the plague just because we have a baby. You can sit near us, you fucktards.

Strike #2
There are two other couples expecting their first babies next year. Aunt-in-law C in January, Aunt-in-law cousin D #1 in June. I could hear them sharing stories about their pregnancies, finding daycare, what their labor/delivery will be like, etc, etc, etc. They just didn’t know what they were going to do about any of it. Meanwhile, here I sit (apparently still on the island) thinking to myself “Been there, done that! I could offer some suggestions if they’d even acknowledge my presence.”

Strike #3
K gets tired during the lunch. He isn’t interested in eating, not even his bottle. After a little bit of twisting and turning and crying, he settles down and goes to sleep, head on my shoulder. I love moments like this with him – when he falls asleep like that. Of course during this time, I can over hear comments made/jokes said, the “awww…..” from the others which really means they’re happy it’s me that has to deal with it and not them.

Strike #4
The lack of a changing station.

Strike #5
It’s time to leave. Everyone has had their fill. Except me. I’ve barely gotten more than two bites of any of the food. One more reason why the price we paid for the buffet was NOT worth it. But I digress. Everyone gets up to leave. By everyone, I mean EVERYONE. They leave me at the table with K in one arm while I struggle to put on my coat. Seriously. They all fucking left me. Even J! I’ll give one tiny kudo to Aunt C because she asked if I needed any help – however that was after she was ½ way out the door. And it still doesn’t make up for Strike #2.

Strike #6
We all end up at Aunt-in-law D #2’s house after the buffet. Aunt-in-law D #2 calls K by a girl’s name not once, not twice, not three times. Four fucking times! Her daughter, N, is telling her over and over what K’s name is.

Strike #7
J and some/most of the men go run errands at Menards. They’re fixing Great Grandma’s house door. Fine. So K and I are left to fend for ourselves. He plays for quite a while, getting fussy every once and a while. No biggy. I still get the infamous “awww…..” from the others (see Strike #3). After almost 2 hours, the men come back. K is still playing but getting tired. He gets a little more fussier and starts the “I’m tired” cry. Aunt-in-law cousin D #1’s husband, Dr. N, said very sarcastically that his baby will never cry. It was mocking in tone. Everyone in the room had a laugh and told him he better not count on that. Even still, I didn’t laugh it off.

The entire afternoon I felt secluded because I had a baby and no one else does. The two preggos could share their stories and have their connection, but not me. When I was pregnant, no one else was and I only had J to share my thoughts and worries with. Now that we have K, no one else has an infant his age. Again, no one else but J to talk to. When Aunt-in-law C and Aunt-in-law cousin D #1 have their babies, K will be a toddler. I’ll be dealing with stuff they won’t even be close to thinking about.

I feel alone sometimes when raising K. I don’t have another mother to talk to about things. J gets excited for K and the things he’s learning. Most of the time, J thinks I over-react. Hell, he even said so about the above Strikes. Maybe I am. Maybe it’s just because my feelings are hurt and I feel alone.

I sucked it up though and put on a good face the entire afternoon. I admit I had about 15 minutes where I just “spaced out” with K in my lap. The rest of the time, I watched K and participated in conversation whenever it related to me. It was nice though to have K because I could just play with him and give him most of my attention without the others thinking I was being anti-social.

Even with all of this, I am truly grateful to Mother-in-law V. She offered to hold K while I went to the salad bar at the buffet. She came into the bathroom when I was changing K and helped me, she sat with me at the house and played with K and just generally kept me company. She was the only one and for that I’m grateful. She is always trying to help without me having to ask or beg. I can only hope that when Aunt-in-law C’s baby gets here, she won’t be pulled in two directions. If so, we’ll get the short end because Aunt-in-law C lives in the same city as Mother-in-law V and will probably monopolize her. Aunt-in-law C can be like that. I’ve seen it.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Moments of GRRR

2006-11-19T20:33:00.000-06:00

I don't have any great way to start this, so I'm just going to type.

I am so fucking tired of restaurants NOT having changing stations in their restrooms. I am sick of having to change K on the damn floor because there is no counter space and what space there is available I'm "gracious" enough to not ruin with a poop/pee diaper for any other customers who want to wash their hands. Not to mention, I don't want some stranger eyeing my son's private parts or critique me on how to wipe his ass.

There has only been one restaurant that has the changing station. All of these other places - The Knolls, Charlestons (to name a few) have fucking nothing.

Now keep in mind all of these restaurants have high chairs so they must expect families with infants to come and dine there. Plus, infants/children who require the use of high chairs are generally still in diapers so wouldn't it make sense to have some space in the restroom that allows a parent to change their child's diaper.

One would think so!

So after going out to lunch this afternoon, and after having to change K on the fucking floor, I tossed his dirty diaper (and I do mean DIRRRRTY) in the trash bin. However, I did not put it in the scented bags I bring along to put the diapers in to reduce the chance of lingering odor. No, not this time. And not any time again where I have to change him on the floor or the damn counter.

In fact, I'm not going to change him on the floor anymore. It's on the counter and if that means I'm blocking the sink for people to wash their hands, then so fucking be it. If they make a comment I'll promptly tell them to go out and tell the damn management they couldn't wash their hands because I was taking up the counter space because I didn't have a place to take care of my son's needs.

I'm sick of feeling like a sub citizen at restaurants because I'm a parent of an infant. Fucking sick of it all!

There are also some other things that came up today, but I'll save that for later. This post is already quite lenthly. Suffice it to say, two other couples are expecting their first child in the next few months and they had the audacity to make sarcastic remarks about how their child isn't going to cry, etc, etc.
Yes, fuck them too - even if they are family. Thank god I don't have to see them often. It just sucks that this comes up now around the holidays when we're expected to be at the family events. Sucks that I have to fucking fake it.

The Fun Is About To Begin

2006-11-17T16:15:00.000-06:00

aka, watch out M! Here comes K!

Starting To Crawl

2006-11-16T20:54:00.000-06:00

He's not breaking any speed records, YET!

Offer Support

2006-11-15T08:27:00.001-06:00

Send DD at TKO some support. She is going through a rough time.

Ahhhhh, That Time of Year Again!

2006-11-14T14:02:00.000-06:00

I haven't ever put up a tree in my office at work. I couldn't resist when I saw these ornaments. :)

New Blogger?

2006-11-13T09:55:00.000-06:00

Anyone use the new version? I wasn't thrilled with the beta version so I'm a little nervous. I would always have problems leaving comments for one thing.

Is it better? Have the "bugs" been worked out? Should I just suck it up and switch because they're going to make me anyway?

Expanded Repertoire

2006-11-13T09:49:00.000-06:00

K has been doing pretty well with eating more solid foods. He can polish off one 4.5 ounce jar of veggies and have room for more! Pretty impressive how far he's come.
He even likes a few new things: Apples&Cherries, Green Beans, Sweet Peas.
This is in addition to oatmeal, bananas, carrots, squash, the filling from a Little Debbie snack cake.
Don't worry, I'm not feeding him the snack cakes, LOL. He was just staring at it one day and tried a tiny finger full and loved it. Of course we gave him some of the cake part and he spit it right out.
He is also NOT a fan of the meats yet. I mixed carrots and beef together and oh my, I don't think I've ever seen him spit out food so fast!
K also makes the best faces when he doesn't like something.

Anyway, there's progress and that's what counts.

Gashlycrumb Tinies, Anyone?

2006-11-10T10:39:00.000-06:00

J recently went on a hunt to find the Edward Gorey book and when he did he was thrilled.

I remember watching Mystery with my mother when I was young and the introduction was animated by Gorey. The intro was something that I'd never seen before, so it was cool.

I'm doing more reading about this author and everything that he's done. In the meantime, am I the only one whose never heard of him?

Artful Dodger With a Twist

2006-11-09T08:32:00.000-06:00

It's been starting to happen over the past couple of weeks. I'll drop off K at B's and he'll watch me intently get closer and closer to the door. His arms go up and out a little bit in that "pick me up" pose and B does her best to distract him with a toy.

Today I realized it was going to get a little trickier. K was sitting on the floor and would watch me, then B, then back to me. Unfortunately there were no toys to distract him. I found myself having to time my exit, much like the Artful Dodger would do when he was up to no good.

Now I'm not shucking responsibility or anything like Dodger, I'm just trying to leave without seeing K red-faced and crying.

Why do I have to be the drop off person?!

We are NOT Monkeys, dear...

2006-11-09T08:22:00.000-06:00

My sweet, darling K:
We do not grab the diaper which is quite "full".
No dear, we are not monkeys...we do not fling our poo.

Better Than The Alternative

2006-11-08T08:36:00.000-06:00

I keep that in mind as people shake their heads at me when I tell them about K's ear infection, going to the DR for seemingly endless coughing/colds, etc, etc.
You know, the:
"Oh that's right, you suffer from the first time mom neurosis."

I look them in the eye and say:
It's better than the alternative.

What alternative, they ask?
The leave K in his diarrhea ridden diaper to play in the cats' litter box. Leaving K home alone while I go out and get drunk. Feeding him only 2 bottles a day at MY CONVENIENCE. Not interacting/playing with him.
Do you NEED me to go on...?

Oh, well, um...
Yes, "oh, well, um" is right. I may be a first time mom, but at least I give a shit about my son. Even if that means I freak out over everything.
And for those keeping score, I freak out about fewer and fewer things each week. I can now handle K's colds without batting an eyelash. His coughing, well, I'm still working on that.

Suggestions, please? (aka Our Next Challenge)

2006-11-07T20:59:00.000-06:00

Guess what our next "challenge" is...

If you said diaper rash, I'll send you a Snoopy star sticker.

I've read that this (diaper rash) can come up when children take antibiotics and K is no exception.

I let his rear air out for about 3 minutes tonight before bed. We also are trying Bourdreaux's Butt Paste.

I'm open to any and all suggestions on what to do to keep this in check and get rid of it, which I realize will probably happen once he's done with the antibiotic.