Waiting

The company I work for is changing the computer system and, as some may know, it's quite hectic. Well, for one department anyway. I'm playing the waiting game at the moment. Just waiting for when the chaos makes it's way to me. Not that I'm looking forward to it, mind you. I'll be training sales reps on how to look up info in an entirely different way, not to mention keep my work caught up while learning the system myself! Oh Joy... I was doing some research online a few days ago and actually felt assured that I wasn't completely alone with some ttc issues. A little backstory: Stopped bcp in January and haven't had my cycle resume the way it's supposed to. Basically, AF hasn't shown in 6 1/2 months! To some that may seem great, but when you're trying to have a baby - well then it just sucks! I've seen my OB about 5 times already this year and she thinks it's hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA for short). OB had me try the progesterone challenge and still nothing happened. I've lost track of how many days it's been, I'm counting months! Had a first appointment with an RE, who didn't really do anything! She told me to gain 20 pounds, quit exercising completely, and go back on bcp. Well, those first two things won't happen! I walked out of that office ticked off that after reading my chart for 5 minutes and talking with me for 10 that she had the nerve to be so damn pushy. I guess she figures that by the time someone comes in to an RE, they're in a rush to have kids, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling any younger, but it was just too much! Too much to think about, too much money being spent on office visits, too much explaining to do to my boss for all of those office visits, too much waiting, just too damn much of everything (and not enough of what I want)! So while I was doing all of this reading, I checked what my weight range was, nutritional sites and read TONS more about HA. I'm 5'6 and 124 - totally within the normal weight range. As for exercise, I do a combination run/fast walk for 3 miles 5x a week. That could be too much, I don't know. Since seeing the RE, and going through the research I've found, I'm cutting my workouts to every other day. We'll see how that goes for now. I start those damn pills on Sunday. Don't know what the point is other than to see if AF does come. I figure that she will since bcp are synthetic hormones and that seems to be the root of the problem anyway. What bothers me is that all of my bloodwork is coming back normal. The *only* thing that stands out (to me and my OB) is that my estrogen is low. It's still within the normal range, but on the low end. Even still, what the hell is going on with my body?! How fitting that I titled today's entry as waiting! I initially thought about how it's been calm in my area at work and I was waiting for the chaos to ensue. Now, though, the title seems to fit about what I'm going through outside of work. Ugh. I am not a patient person. I hate waiting.