As if there wasn't enough to deal with...

My mother decides to call J and tell him that she wants grandkids! All the other ladies in her office have them and she'd like some too! Well all I have to say to that is "Then tell your fucking god to straighten things out so that I can!" She so religious, why doesn't she just pray about it if she wants it so damn bad! As you can tell, we are not close. I haven't told her anything about what is going on precisely for this reason. Can you imagine the guilt trip she'd be laying if she DID know that things were delayed for reasons as yet to be determined?! She just wants to be included in the group - but I don't give a damn! J was so cool about it. He told her flat out not to push it because other wise he "pinch it off and pull out everytime" and she'd never get the chance to be a grand parent! LOL! I love my husband! He sticks up for me in the weirdest of ways, but always gets the point across.

Struggle is my name-O

struggle n 1: an energetic attempt to achieve something; "getting through the crowd was a real struggle"; "he fought a battle for recognition" [syn: battle] 2: an open clash between two opposing groups (or individuals); "the harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph"--Thomas Paine; "police tried to control the battle between the pro- and anti-abortion mobs" [syn: conflict, battle] 3: strenuous effort; "the struggle to get through the crowd exhausted her" v 1: make a strenuous or labored effort; "She struggled for years to survive without welfare"; "He fought for breath" [syn: fight] 2: to exert strenuous effort against opposition; "he struggled to get free from the rope" 3: climb awkwardly, as if by scrambling [syn: clamber, scramble, shin, shinny, skin, sputter] 4: be engaged in a fight; carry on a fight; "the tribesmen fought each other"; "Siblings are always fighting" [syn: fight] Seems that summarizes this year so far. Practically everything I want to accomplish comes with the price of having to scrape, claw, grunt, and STRUGGLE! Meanwhile, others get what they want just be speaking the words: "I want to have a baby." - 2 weeks later, they're pregnant "I want a new house." - 1 month later they're moving "I'm tired of this job. I'm going to try something else." - They get an interview in 2 days and 3 weeks later they're in a new position that pays $15,000 more annually. I know that "life isn't fair", but Karma could cut J and I a break. Give us what we want without having to fight so fucking hard for it! Some can argue that having to work for it will make us appreciate it more - HOWEVER - we'll appreciate any good fortune that comes our way. I can say that because it's been a long time since we've caught a break. A very long time. I think I reek of desperation. So be it.

Jumping Through Hoops

So AF is here! 7 months to the day and a ruined pair of underclothes! LOL. So, we'll see where things go from here. I'm trying to get psyched up to jump through hoops for my OB. Don't know what she'll want me to do, if anything.

London 7/7

Like 9/11 is scarred into the minds of all Americans, so will 7/7 for all Londoners. http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/londonbombblast/ The above link was mentioned on CNN. I found it amazing that people were able to take photos with their phones even through the chaos. Keep searching for photos! Let it be a reminder! *stepping off my soapbox*

Holy Call Back, Batman!

So I send 2 resumes out (1 last night, 1 this morning) and received call backs from both of them! I could hardly believe it! I have one interview set up tomorrow PM and don't know whether to be nervous or excited. First of all, I haven't received call backs that fast EVER (LOL) not to mention having an interview with one day of the call back! Just thinking about it makes my stomach all sorts of funny! I am excited, however I didn't expect anything this fast. I haven't even put together my "take it or leave it" pitch for my current employer! I know what you're thinking - I haven't even been offered a job yet. I know that and it'll probably be my luck that I'll get lots of first interviews and not make it past that. But jesus, this is quick!

Jerk, Jerk, Jerk the Chain a Little Harder!

I have been trying to get more involved with the IT area where I work, specifically with the web site and even perhaps assisting with the in house PC troubleshooting/help desk. It's a small company, so there aren't as many "rungs on the ladder" to climb, which is why I've been pursuing it. Needless to say, I don't think it's going to happen. It's like they give me enough "hope" that I'll be able to do this but never follow through. Hell, I registered a domain name a year ago (specifically for work) that I haven't been able to use AT ALL! I finally got so fed up that I used my own personal web space to host the Work test site that I put up in March. Guess what, they looked at it once and I've heard nothing since! How many months is that? 4 1/2 months! I've seen snails accomplish more in that amount of time. I'm at the end of my rope. I'll keep doing the Admin work here, but if an opportunity comes up where I can pursue my IT interests, I'm taking it. How long do they expect me to wait with baited breath to be taken seriously? I graduated Magna Cum Laude for christ's sake! If that doesn't show determination and hard work along with a willingness to try new things/experiment - well I don't know....... I'm so disheartened by it all. I like working for this company, I really do! But I can't hold my breath thinking I'm going to get an opportunity that doesn't look like it will ever happen. One can only jerk the chain so many times before I get REALLY pissed! Current Music: I Can't Stand It, Eric Clapton