Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Um, What?

Have you ever had a moment when you discoved that someone wasn't what you expected them to be, even though you've gotten to know them over 4 years?

I have a pretty decent relationship with my boss, B. We're not THISCLOSE, but we share family stories, political opinions, vent about work without crossing the boss/co-worker line. She is one of the better managers I've ever gotten to work for.

That's why when she started talking about wanting her daughter in law (DIL) to stop breastfeeding now that the baby is 8 weeks old, I was taken aback. No joke, she is adamant about her stopping! The latest story is that overnight when the baby cries for food, DIL will get him out of the bassinet next to the bed and lay back down with him and feed. B is calling this lazy!

Okay, maybe I have a feminist streak in me, but I assumed that all women would be supportive of any mom breastfeeding. I had a hard time with it, but I'm glad that other moms can make it work. If anything, it makes me want to try harder at breastfeeding if J and I get to have another child.

As far as the "lazy" comment, they encourage you to do this to bond and held keep things calm overnight. That way baby doesn't get wide awake from moving all around the place and the mom can be relaxed.

I now understand why B seemed disappointed when I told her I was going to breastfeed K. I really don't get it.

I feel let down. Unsupported. It's enough that the state I live in has only one law about breastfeeding and that is that we wouldn't have to be on jury duty.
I'm taking B's attitude personal. I know that I shouldn't. I can't help it though. It's going to irritate me for a while...


Bon said...

i can't help but be irritated by that kind of attitude, either. it seems ridiculously outdated and unsupportive...i mean, can't breastfeed? that's rough. don't want to? your choice. didn't want to forty years ago because you were indoctrinated into seeing it as somehow nasty? fair enough. still clinging to that dumbass notion and trying to impose it passive-aggressively on those around you despite the fact that it's as long-gone as the Edsel? irritating.

i had a nursery nurse in the hospital where O was born tell me that breastfeeding was crap, and all her kids went straight to cows' milk fresh from the barn the day they were born. i thought, wow, neato, and they didn't suffer from food poisoning or malnourishment and bully for you, but are they seriously letting you say this to new mothers in your professional capacity?!? and what, is this supposed to be helpful encouragement because my child won't latch properly? do you think i'm hiding a cow in my downtown basement?!?

people. shakes head.

Zany Mama said...

I just find it so interesting that someone would have such strong opinions about something THAT DOESN'T CONCERN THEM AT ALL.

Fine, don't breastfeed. But what do you care if someone else wants to do it?

I just don't get it.

(And I totally get why you feel differently about her. I would, too).

Gingers Mom said...

People who feel that way about breastfeeding are either ignorant about it, or are uncomfortable with their own body. That is the conclusion I have come to. I feel sorry for her DIL.
I nursed my daughter for 12 months and then had to give up because she needed more calories and was losing weight. My MIL told my hubby that I was never really interested in breastfeeding anyway and was using that as an excuse to stop. (WTF?? I did it for a YEAR dammit) MIL can be really judgemental. It comes easy to them.
I don't blame you for being taken aback. It really was insensitive of her and well...ignorant. I would have taken it personally too.