Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Dare It Be True

As I'm typing this, I am still in disbelief. Utter disbelief and still trying to wrap my mind around this. Three tests can't be wrong, can they?
I am pregnant.
It's still very early on so there isn't much to say. The "Slartybarfast" phase (blastocyst) is over and there is an embryo growing.
When is this supposed to sink in? Really?
And when will I stop freaking out and thinking about the dreaded possibility of miscarriage?! I'm so worried that it won't stick. So many things going on right now.
What if it doesn't stick?
What if it doesn't stick?
What if it doesn't stick?
I swear that is all I can think about! I'm so afraid of finally getting pregnant only to lose it. I hope that life isn't that cruel. It was bad enough to have such trouble just to get a period after 6 months - I don't know that I could handle loosing this.

Oh, and no pressure that I'm now in the most crucial development phase for the baby! I swear, I research too much! Right now nerves, brain cells, blood vessels, freaking EVERYTHING is being developed! To top that off, the OB doesn't see anyone until they're 10 weeks along! Why wouldn't they see you sooner - especially since weeks 4-12 are so important. I mean, one could really screw things up, you know. Not on purpose, of course, but by not having early direction as to what to do - man, what a potential catasophe!

I don't even know what in the hell I'm supposed to eat. I'm totally winging it. I mean, I'm not eating junk food crap - but how much more am I supposed to eat now?! I've read 300 calories a day but is that required this early or once I get to the 2nd and 3rd trimester?
Like I said, I'm just guessing. I added 1 cup of 1% milk and 2 egg whites to my breakfast this morning (which is normally 2 pieces of toast). That's about 125 extra calories. I don't know if that's enough, though. I guess I'll find out at the end of September at my OB appointment.

Please just let it stick!


Nico said...

Holy shit!!! That's absolutely, completely fantastic!

Of course, I'm completely jealous. :-)

I'd suggest getting "The Girlfriend's guide to pregnancy" (heard from a pg friend that it's much less frightening than "What to Expect").

Emma B. said...

How absolutely wonderful, Stephanie!