I Need A Little More Kick, Ma

Actual Dew consumption = 0.0000000000000001

Share?

I've noticed that some bloggers share their blog with family and friends. To the (-5) visitors here, may I ask what made you decide to do that? I don't think I could share it with anyone. I let it all out here and would probably end up sensoring myself.

Sometimes I Just Need

to feel that my opinion matters. That someone gives a shit about what advice I can offer or the experiences I've had. This gets complicated. Throughout Sister in law, C's (SIL-C) pregnancy not once did she ask for tips or what it REALLY felt like during the third trimester, etc. As she passed her due date and was facing induction, still nothing. It's no secret that I was induced. I could've given pointers, etc. Could've offered suggestions on what to pack - anything. Now that Baby U is here, I have a lot of ideas/suggestions that honest-to-god are helpful. But here I sit, knowing that she won't ask. There've been times when I've just offered unsolicted advice - I don't know why, to hear myself talk I guess. I don't want to be one of those people who does that, though. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe it's because there's no one else I know who has a 9 month old (or even close to it). Maybe it's because I feel totally alone in this new world of parenting. Maybe it's a lot of things. Maybe I just need to feel like I have something to contribute, something to validate my experiences. In the end, I just need to feel that I matter. UPDATE: Just found out that SIL-C doesn't want visitors during her recovery. Not even her or her husband's parents. WTF?! I can somewhat understand not wanting an influx of people, but to exclude the parents...? J called and spoke to D (C's husband) earlier today and asked if it was alright if we came up this Sunday to visit and see Baby U. He got a weird "vibe" and a not-an-answer, like it's going to be 2 months before we get to see the baby. FFS!!! This is family, not some autumn carnival show! In response to DD's comment, I gave her quite the bounty at her baby shower and I have an impressive bounty waiting for her now. C is hard to read - the perfect example being what I mentioned above about her not wanting any visitors at all.

Perfect Waste of Time

I found this via another site and it made me laugh.

My, How B I G You Are

I decided to get contact lenses after K's numerous attempts to pull off my glasses or rack me with a plastic toy in the face. It's been a good 12 years since I wore contacts and I gotta tell you it's taking a bit to get used to. For one, everything looks B I G G E R! Like my brain is in "3x zoom" mode. This does not fare well with my 9 month post-partum reflection in the mirror, people! No, this does not do great things for the ego, therefore I go... immediately out of the way of any reflection - be it from a mirror, window, car door.

Homework?

K's 9 month appt went well. We did, however, get assigned "homework". Seems that K should be clapping his hands together by now and he isn't. He is usually pounding toys on the coffee table or trying to grab my glasses and toss them across the room. Apparently, that doesn't meet the "standards". Anyway, our job is to help K learn how to clap his hands via the rhyme Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake.

Ker-splat

This is the sound of my brain after a phone conversation with J. K was referred to an Opthmologist for one of his eyes that is just slightly turning inward. You actually don't notice it unless you know it's there. So an appointment was made. Not more than an hour later, J calls back and wants to cancel the appointment. He has "this feeling" that the DR will tell us K is fine and that his eye will fix itself. He doesn't want to piss away more money on Dr. bills. I understand his point. We've gone to the Dr. a lot in K's first few months and are just now getting to the point of paying off some of them. Most of the appointments were due to nervous first-time-parent-itis, I admit. Even still, it's better to make sure that we're doing the right thing as far as treating diarrhea/ear infection/whatever cold hits this month. It stinks to have to add to the medical bills again, but that's the way it goes. My brain promptly exploded as J said he wants to make sure K is ok, but would rather take the chance on that than make sure by going to the Dr. I don't even think I can really described the "WTF?!" that flooded my head during his call. I love, love, love J. Right now, I just want to glare at him. I know money has been tight. I know another appointment won't help that. I also know that insurance is there to help us out and that as long as we make regualr payments they can't harrass us. I also know that if it means I don't get to buy a fancy new 4GB flash drive or the Video Camera (so that our videos are much easier on the eyes), then so be it.

My How We've Grown!

This at 2 weeks: This is around 3 months: This is at 8 months: K's 9 month appt with DR A is this afternoon and I was just thinking about how much he's accomplished since the 6 month appt. From just barely sitting up on his own to starting to cruise along furniture, he's learned so much. I'm very excited for him. He's becoming a little boy. It seems easier to take care of him at this stage (for now!) than it was when he was younger. Don't get me wrong, we still have our challenges, but it was so much more work before. I'd go through it again, but only if I could take the knowledge I've gained with me. I think it would go a bit smoother. I guess all first time parents say that, huh.

Cruisin'...on a Sunday Afternoon

It's a Winter Wonderland

For the past 3 weekends, we've gotten snow. Not just a little bit, either. Last nights tally: 8 inches of winter wonderland. There hasn't been this much snow here in a very long time. I'm impressed. K was intrigued

One Pleased Family

So there is this couple that I really don't like. J used to work with them years ago and they have kept in touch. I'm not really that "connected" to them. I know this couple through J. We've hung out at times, etc, but that's about it. Anyway, I could go into a long explanation of why and what happened to make me not care to be around them, but I summarize it as best as I can. They are both flaky and rarely follow through with things. We set up "couple dates" and they back out or they set up the dates and then forget! As a "planner", that doesn't go over well with me. The also over exaggerate things! The gusto with which they use to describe people and situations is more over the top than a 4 years olds imagination! That also doesn't help me tolerate them. You can only take 1/4 of what they say as a glimpse of truth. Everything else is bullshit. Fast forward to Thursday night when they call and say they are having a joint birthday party and would like us to come. I prepare myself for a night of having to put on a good face but thankful that K will be with us and I can "hide" with him. Get to today and their party is at 7:30 PM - um yeah that won't work because K is in bed at that time. J seemed a little bummed. I immediately thought how nice it was that I didn't have to fake it. Of course, then I got back into the "good wife" mode and realized that we both didn't have to stay home. K would be asleep and that would require only one of us to be at home. I told J this and how I wouldn't mind staying home. He's better friends with them anyway and I couldn't give a f*** what they do as long as I don't have to be there for it. Needless to say, J was pleased with this arrangement. I was pleased. We were one very pleased family! Sweeeeeeeet!

Woman (+) Weird Car Noise (x) Hunch = I Was Right!

We've all heard the addage that women and cars don't generally go together, at least as far as anything mechanical is concerned. While that may be true for some, I can now stand tall and proud because I was right about a funky noise my car was making not being good. Backstory: It's been f-ing cold here. I mean really f-ing cold. Monday and Tuesday the highs were below 0! Those were the high temps! Anyway, most cars don't agree with extremly cold weather. I don't blame them. On Monday, my car started to make this weird groaning noise when I would turn left or right. J, my darling husband, and a few others were saying that it was just because of the cold temperatures. I figured eh, maybe. After driving most of the week with this groaning coming from the steering column/area, I just decided to get it checked out. J, thinking I was over-reacting, shrugged his shoulders and said "Do what you think is best. I say just wait it out." J, I love you, but f-off this time! : ) I get my car to a mechanic and sure enough (!!!!!) there was a problem. It was in the suspension and steering: a link for the sway bars was bad and that was causing the noise. HA, aren't you impressed I know what a sway bar is and that it's related to suspension! So there it is. I was right about a mechanical car problem AND I'm a woman. Take that! Sometimes, a hunch can be all it takes. Now if I could just have a hunch about this weeks lottery numbers.......

So Worth It

I'm speechless. I could look at picture's of K all day long. I feel fortunate that he is in my life. I've only been able to say that about one other person and that is J. Now I get 2 people to love. Of course they drive me crazy from time to time, but at the end of the day..... it's so worth it.

Signing Progress or Wishful Thinking?

I was feeding K his breakfast this morning and doing the sign for eat and more like I always do when we sit down at the table, when what do I spy with my little eye? K signing eat! He did it a couple times and then he 1/2 did it and 1/2 played with some food in his mouth. LOL. He's still learning and we have a ways to go, but I think he's getting it. Slowly, but that's okay. He's got a lot going on with being a super-fast cruising crawler, teething and scoping out the babes on the local morning TV show segment called "1st Birthdays". Ah, yes...my husband's son indeed!

Never To Be Held Back!

K has figured out the kittie escape hatch. He has also figured out that he cannot fit through it. This caused many, many tears.

Quick...out the kittie escape hatch!

Kittie M: The child roams free! How do we escape? Kittie B: Quick...through here!

What Have We Been Up To

Playing with Daddy's remote control Helping Mommy make the bed Playing with our spoon and finally... Napping

Nickname, schmickname...

From the top of the stairs a voice rang out: "And K will be named "Junior Mint" and so shall it pass and forever be (or until he starts looking at us funny)."

Back From the Ledge

Okay, so my walking-the-ledge self has calmed down now. My life isn't all that bad. I will admit that at times I make mountains out of mole-hills. That's not to say that we (as a family) haven't had to endure a lot of shit over the past year. However, it could be a lot (LOT) worse. There may be an occassional vent, but I'm going to try and quit whining and be much more grateful.

Me = Pre-Clarence George Bailey

Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer? Nick, It's A Wonderful Life Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You claimed you were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me "a warped, frustrated, old man!" Who are you but a warped, frustrated young man, crawling in here on your hands and knees begging for help. No securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin' but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy. You're worth more dead than alive. Mr. Potter [to George Bailey], It's A Wonderful Life I don't remember when the last time I watched that movie was. A very long time, that's for sure. I'm sneaking in this post while J is out (braving the snow and ice that covers the city today) to get Chinese food. K is asleep and I'm left here thinking. I've been thinking all day, actually. Sometimes that's not a good thing. Sometimes I end up feeling like throwing my hands up in the air and screaming WTF?! I’m not so far removed from being exactly like George Bailey in the beginning of the movie. I’d say I’m pretty much feeling exactly the same way. Don’t worry, I won’t be going near any bridges. I may lock myself in the bathroom for 15-20 minutes, though. So the last day of 2006 has been pretty much like the entire year: for every good thing there were 3 bad things. The morning started off fine. As time went by, I worked on getting K to take a nap. Everything I had read said that children should be rested and fed before getting pictures taken. That was my goal today. I wouldn’t be here typing this if that had been accomplished. K napped for shit all morning. Somehow, he did get an hour nap in from 10:40 – until about 11:45. He woke up cranky and hungry. Just. Great. We get ourselves ready for the pictures, get out to the car, clean the snow and ice off of the car and make our way to the studio. Half way there, the windshield wipers stop working. Completely. J pulls over, gets out to see what the hell is the problem. He can’t figure it out and gets frustrated. We were thisclose to canceling the appointment but since we were only 3 minutes away, we just went. Just. Fucking. Great. When we pull into a parking space, guess what….. Wait for it…. Wait for it… Wait… . . . . . . . . . . The goddamn wipers start working again! J lets out a grunt. I don’t say a word. The pictures went fine, surprisingly. We had one set taken as a family and one set of just K. K did really well. No meltdowns, no spitting up on his clothes. The appointment itself was short and we didn’t get to use any props, but that’s okay. This was really more of a test run than anything else. We can use props later. They had us review the pics on a shitty monitor, so I hope they turn out okay. I think K’s will be fine, but the family one worries me. Mainly because what you see on a monitor isn’t always what comes out on the print. Due to the increasingly shitty weather, we didn’t get to go to Best Buy to look at video cameras or Alltel to look at the Motorola Razr phones. Mommy really wants a new phone! I got a gift card to use and it’s burning a hole in my pocket! That just made the day seem even more shittier. We were more or less cooped up at home. K hated it, J hated it and I hated it. Like I said, for every good thing…shit happens. I’m so hoping 2007 is better. I’m not naïve enough to expect perfection, but I am hopeful that the “drama” will subside. This is no damn soap opera, this is my life.